Pride and friendship

Pride is the route to my success and also the route to my failure.

It has always be and it will always be.

I don't see the point in begging people for help on something. To me, it has always been the "heart" and "how much he/she values you". If the person has the heart to do something and he/she values you, be it a last minute notice, an invitation dinner without an invitation card or he/she is forced to see someone whom he/she does not want to see at the event, for your sake, they will do it. To me, this is true friendship and true love - unconditional and selfless.

And that also explains my small circle of friends - the ones who stay true and faithful to one another, help is always available with just a phone call - no strings attached, no questions asked.

Maybe I was also influenced by the helping profession, I will extend my hand to anyone who needs it without any hesitation and which sometimes also results in myself being disappointed easily. When you thought that person really treats you as a friend, confide in you and you start helping unconditionally, but ends up, everything is a joke. Then you start to tell yourself that "So life has always been a joke".

As a result, every such experience tends to build up my defense towards this thing called "friendship". True friends are hard to come by...True true friends are even harder to come by...Once in a lifetime, all I need is just one true true friend and one true true partner =D

Stress?

As the day gets nearer and nearer, the tension becomes greater and greater and expectations start to grow.

You will start telling yourself "He just got to change. He just got to grow up. Is a new phase of life that he will be going through and he cannot remain status quo forever." Being status quo starts to irk you and getting him to get out from his status quo starts to make him peeve. "I have been like this all along, what is wrong with that?" he will say. But you will rebut "Is a new phase of life of new responsibilities, of new members into it. Being status quo is not going to lead you anywhere."

Somehow, you will flare up with him for no reason. It could be similiar issues from the past which you used to be able to tolerate, but not now. Things start to become less tolerable.

You don't feel the stress coming in but actually the stress is there...unconsciously, which is shown through the behaviour and short-temperness.